1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,119 - Oh, why hello there. 4 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,224 I'm Aphrodite, Goddess of Love. 5 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:17,371 Oh, you think I'm a little young to be a Goddess? 6 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,940 Well I'm not really that young. 7 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:25,779 You won't believe this but I'm almost 8,000 years old. 8 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,583 Or is it nine? 9 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,252 Well, what's the difference? 10 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:34,021 I always lie about my age anyway. 11 00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:38,492 When I was really young I was the wildest. 12 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,128 I used to do all kinds of things 13 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,897 to make people romantic and sexy. 14 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:49,603 Why even today whenever a boy or a girl, 15 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:54,675 you know, you can be sure I'm there supervising or 16 00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,047 maybe peeking a little. 17 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:06,687 And if they fight it, sometimes they don't realize that it's 18 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,122 bigger than both of them. 19 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:12,560 I do all kinds of cute little things like 20 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:19,700 maybe spiking a martini with a jig of love potion. 21 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,871 Or making a shoulder strap break just the right time. 22 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:29,910 Or maybe sprinkling whole forests with lust dust. 23 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:34,682 Which reminds me, once a long time ago, 24 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:38,085 maybe 300 years before the Trojan war even, 25 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,554 I really caused an interesting evening with a 26 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,357 sprinkling of lust dust. 27 00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:47,528 There was this Greek hero with the big muscles and all, 28 00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,365 his name was Theseus. 29 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,941 - It's great to be ashore again where a man 30 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,110 can get a little exercise. 31 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,024 - That's not Theseus, that's Nereus. 32 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:21,929 He likes to stay in condition. 33 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,337 - Yes, and I understand 34 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:32,406 these Cretan palm aids are excellent. 35 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,077 Oh hey, that sea air is really drying out my skin 36 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,647 and I'm almost out of body oil. 37 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,817 - That's not Theseus, that's Leander. 38 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,321 He's pretty and he knows it. 39 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:53,060 - Oh, land again, we've been at sea so long 40 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,463 every time I go over a bump in the road 41 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:58,265 I look for a rail to hang over. 42 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,105 - That's Theseus. 43 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,512 - Alright fellas, let's shape up 44 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,914 like a bunch of Greek heroes. 45 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,886 Confound it Nereus, put down that stupid rock. 46 00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,856 I say put down that stupid rock. 47 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,560 Ah! 48 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:33,434 And you, all the time with my oil. 49 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,241 Him and his gall flam grease. 50 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,520 Alright you guys, let's straighten up 51 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,856 and look like a couple of Greek heroes. 52 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,324 That's better. 53 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,927 Now I suppose you're wondering what out next mission is. 54 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,229 Well, we're going to find a missing child. 55 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,732 The rightful heir to the throne of Crete. 56 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,802 First we're going to talk to her Uncle, Kind Minos of Crete. 57 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,404 Onto Minos' palace. 58 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:15,876 - As Theseus marches towards the palace of Minos 59 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,679 Zita and Kiva, two beautiful sirens, 60 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:23,517 women who lured sailors to the rocks, watch his approach. 61 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,654 - They're coming closer, where's Bonar been all day? 62 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,188 - At Thermopylae Downs. 63 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,389 - The horses again? 64 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,759 - Alright, let's not knock the nags. 65 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:34,261 Horse racing is a clean sport. 66 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,095 - I know. 67 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,364 You've never left the track 68 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:40,333 without being thoroughly cleaned. 69 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:43,003 - Come to think of it, the track is the only place 70 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,939 where the windows clean the people. 71 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,876 - Kiva, here they come. 72 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:49,877 - Ooh, yeah. 73 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,947 Some prospects, just when our pirating business 74 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,216 looked like it was on the rocks. 75 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,452 Now let me evaluate for a minute. 76 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,288 Two muscular guys and their jerk 77 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:04,124 against two broads and a-- 78 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,392 - Coward? 79 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,461 - Uh, lucky thing for you that I happen to be 80 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:10,063 a gentlemen, a scholar and a coward. 81 00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,734 Now quickly, let's put plan 3-A into effect. 82 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:18,472 And remember no getting cozy with the clients. 83 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:23,210 - Just about the same time Bonar the pirate 84 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,647 is preparing to receive Theseus and his party 85 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,349 King Minos is being informed of this Greek hero 86 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,218 and his mission. 87 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:35,756 Scylla, his wife, seeing his mood tries to cheer him up. 88 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,867 - You're crushing the pleats on my toga. 89 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:58,872 - You look bored, I'd like to do a little entertaining. 90 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,541 Let's invite the king and queen of Cronus for a feast. 91 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,711 - I'm in no mood to have your assist and her husband 92 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,579 clouding up the palace for and evening. 93 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:08,816 - After the banquet they gave us we should reciprocate. 94 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,317 - Reciprocate? 95 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,086 After that banquet we should retaliate. 96 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:34,808 - Let's invite the king and queen of Rhodes. 97 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,144 He's a handsome scoundrel. 98 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,479 But she's such an old bat. 99 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,149 Oh, she isn't so old. 100 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,786 - Isn't so old? 101 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,554 She's so wrinkled that when she smiles 102 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,957 she looks like a venetian blind. 103 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,591 - Oh, you exaggerate. 104 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,360 - I heard she went to a plastic surgeon 105 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,029 to have her wrinkles tightened up and he over did it. 106 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,898 Now every time she raises her eyebrows 107 00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,400 it pulls up her stockings. 108 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:21,154 - Darling, let's invite the king and queen of Troy. 109 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,489 - Oh, those two. 110 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,591 - She's pretty. 111 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,794 - And she's such a bore. 112 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,361 She's so used to getting her own way 113 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:31,131 she writes in her diary four weeks ahead. 114 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:35,635 And him, he's so henpecked each night the dog walks him. 115 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,621 - When will the new Captain of the Guard arrive? 116 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,056 Any hour now. 117 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,958 - Oh, whom will he be? 118 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,260 - Kalak of Macedonian. 119 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,361 - Oh, a Greek. 120 00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:10,738 - One thing I'll never understand, 121 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,673 in the passed two years we've had 122 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,376 four Captain's of the Guard 123 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,712 all big strapping muscle men 124 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,248 at least 200 pounders, 125 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:24,284 after six months in our service 126 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,154 they each applied for retirement 127 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,389 a skinny 94 pound weakling. 128 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,562 I don't understand. 129 00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:43,737 - There, this should make the new captain feel at home. 130 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:46,439 Do I look Grecian enough? 131 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,208 - You look Grecian enough to step right out 132 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,377 of your very own restaurant. 133 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,383 - Oh boy, look at that Queen of Crete. 134 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:09,089 Ooh. 135 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,626 - That's Zeus, my father. 136 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,630 Father of all the Gods. 137 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,901 Mother watches him like a hawk. 138 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,635 But he's quite a guy. 139 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:26,006 He's got a lot of tricks that scoundrel. 140 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,008 Take that box for instance. 141 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,344 He's been caring it around for six months 142 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:35,048 now mother's getting a little taut about it. 143 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:39,219 - I'll just scream if I don't find out what's in that box. 144 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:46,059 Well I'm gonna walk right over there and ask him. 145 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,897 - Alright already stop the dancing in there here she comes. 146 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:01,608 - Oh, watching that vulgar Queen of Crete again, ay? 147 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:04,811 - Vulgar? 148 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,713 I think she's very fashioning. 149 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:07,948 - Hm? 150 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:08,982 - Like you have to admit in her clothes 151 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:11,451 she always shows distinction. 152 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:15,422 - In her clothes she always shows distinctly. 153 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,857 Take that dress for instance. 154 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,628 Shows everything but good taste. 155 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,366 What's in the box? 156 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,201 - What's in the box? 157 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,602 - What's in the box? 158 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,704 Isn't that a reasonable question? 159 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,006 - Yeah it's a reasonable question 160 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,109 and it deserves a reasonable answer. 161 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:38,211 Too bad I can't find one. 162 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,547 - What's in the box? 163 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,714 - What's in the box? 164 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,417 Trouble's is in the box. 165 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,953 - Troubles? 166 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:49,456 - Troubles, big troubles of all kinda shapes and sizes. 167 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,858 - Where'd you find them? 168 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,961 - Down there among the mortals. 169 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,728 I felt sorry for the poor schnooks 170 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,331 so I ran around among them and 171 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:02,435 found as many troubles as I could lay my hands on 172 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,604 and I put them all in this box. 173 00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:08,441 - Well now let's see, whatever's in this box-- 174 00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:12,645 - Troubles are in the box, troubles. 175 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,582 - Don't try to confuse me. 176 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,484 Alright, it's troubles. 177 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:22,422 Troubles of assorted shapes and sizes 178 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,528 and that you can get your hands on. 179 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:31,364 - Oh boy, you have an evil mind. 180 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,599 Up-ah! 181 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,135 Don't touch the lid, the troubles might escape 182 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,337 and infest Mt. Olympus. 183 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,072 Then I might have to go down again 184 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:43,876 and gather as many troubles as I could lay my hands on. 185 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:48,048 - If mother buys that she'd love professional wrestling. 186 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,452 - You know they tell me the Queen of Crete 187 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,687 is a terrible gossip. 188 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:59,292 Even from here you can see she's a real busy body. 189 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,894 - You know, my mother warned me. 190 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:09,402 She did everything she could to stop you from marrying me. 191 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,673 - You mean that old witch 192 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,409 tried to stop me from marrying you? 193 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,078 - She certainly did. 194 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,881 - Oh, how I've wronged that woman. 195 00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,888 Now now, there's something interesting to see. 196 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:36,863 Pretty as a picture with a frame to match. 197 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,779 - All I can say to you 198 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,616 is watch yourself! 199 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,490 - Oh boy, a boy doing a man's job. 200 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:09,529 I think I'll just have to slip down there and 201 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:14,567 well, what am I gonna do with this confounded box? 202 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:15,868 I can't leave it laying around. 203 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,038 That woman'll open it just as sure as I'm 204 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,943 scheming lovely thoughts for that little girl. 205 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:27,980 Nah, I'll have to find a gullible schnook 206 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:32,152 someone I can trust who can guard it until I ask 'em for it. 207 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,458 Huh, that Queen of Crete, 208 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:44,464 she's got movement like a Tindrock McClock. 209 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,467 She alarms all the wives in the vicinity 210 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,702 and awakens their husbands. 211 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:51,471 Oh boy. 212 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,443 - But I can't seem to please you anymore. 213 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,578 - It's always the same old stuff. 214 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,448 Always the same old stuff. 215 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:08,421 Besides, my spies brought word that Theseus is approaching. 216 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,822 - So? 217 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:10,957 - So, he's gonna take in a mission 218 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,525 to find my late sister's child, 219 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,394 the rightful ruler of Crete. 220 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,696 - But your sister died while giving birth 221 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:19,266 in the wilds of far off Lobos. 222 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:23,035 Even if the child lives Theseus could never find her. 223 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,205 - But if he did you'd have to go back 224 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,240 to your old profession. 225 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,476 - The oldest profession. 226 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,944 - The oldest profession dear and I'd have to go back 227 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:35,182 to selling and I don't relish that idea. 228 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,417 - What can we do about it? 229 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:41,521 - Steer Theseus wrong, into the jaws of disaster. 230 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,593 - How can you steer him? 231 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:50,630 - By sending along Pandora, our servant. 232 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,765 - But how can a lowly slave? 233 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:57,304 - How can a lowly slave lead a Greek hero astray? 234 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,178 See what I mean. 235 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,083 First, you get her one of your gowns. 236 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,953 One of those barbed wire dresses you wear. 237 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,422 - Barbed wire dress? 238 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,357 - You know, the kind that protects the property 239 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,792 without obstructing the view. 240 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:24,464 Now to make sure she carries out our orders. 241 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:28,000 Pandora, would you like to be free? 242 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,302 - Free? 243 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,770 Oh, I'd give anything. 244 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,671 - Anything? 245 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,908 She might just have to do that. 246 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:40,413 Pandora, I've been a good and kind master haven't I? 247 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,914 - Oh yes your highness. 248 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,483 - If you succeed in leading Theseus 249 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:47,687 away from the land of Lobos I offer you your freedom. 250 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,058 - You'll be free Pandora. 251 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,994 Free to marry or anything you like. 252 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,731 - I can't believe it. 253 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,568 - But you must carry out our plans. 254 00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,337 First you must lead Theseus to Circee's island. 255 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,239 If he gets by her then you must lead him 256 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,007 into the land of the Amazons. 257 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,642 Do you understand? 258 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,143 - Perfectly your majesty. 259 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,280 Your orders will be carried out. 260 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,448 I do yearn for my freedom. 261 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,254 - The new Captain of the Guard is here. 262 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:24,491 Send him in. 263 00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,396 So you're Kalak from Macedon. 264 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:32,965 You're to be my wife's personal body guard. 265 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:49,349 - And this body needs to be guarded closely. 266 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,450 Very closely. 267 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,152 Do you understand? 268 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,722 - I'll do my best your majesty. 269 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,791 - Pandora, show the Captain to his quarters. 270 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:03,463 - No need Pandora, I'll show the Captain his quarters. 271 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:06,198 I'll show the captain everything. 272 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:08,100 Everything. 273 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:20,947 - You know my dear, you won't believe this 274 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:24,617 but I used to be built like that Macedonian. 275 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,522 So were our last four Captain's of the Guard. 276 00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,697 - While the Queen of Crete shows Kalak, 277 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:40,367 the new Captain of the Guard, a thing or two, 278 00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:42,869 Bonar and his two beautiful sirens 279 00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:45,605 are putting plan 3-A into effect. 280 00:21:47,574 --> 00:21:50,543 - Alright, here they come, get ready for action. 281 00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:53,513 - Wait, intelligence for once. 282 00:21:58,084 --> 00:22:01,187 Mm-hm, just as I thought, there's not report 283 00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:04,691 of a bistol around here, must be an ambush. 284 00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:06,526 - We best proceed with caution. 285 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:09,829 This is a territory dominated by the infamous pirate Bonar. 286 00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:13,866 - The report on the scoundrel. 287 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:18,270 Mm-hm, Bonar, Cretan pirates. 288 00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,307 In Athens he was charged with picking his way 289 00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:23,776 through a crowd at the celebration of Diana. 290 00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,746 - Well picking one's way through a crowd is no crime. 291 00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:30,450 - But he picked his way through a pocket at a time. 292 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:33,185 And that's just one of the long list of crimes. 293 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:34,487 - It's rumored he's so crooked 294 00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:36,122 that every time he counts his money 295 00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:37,990 he stands in front of a mirror. 296 00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:41,027 He doesn't trust himself out of his sight. 297 00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:43,162 - He picked my pockets all he'd get would be practice. 298 00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:46,332 - Alright, no snide remarks about back pay. 299 00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:48,868 You two stay here while I go into the enemy's camp. 300 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:52,138 - Don't you think we should all go in? 301 00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:56,876 - Who's the legendary Greek hero around here anyway? 302 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,778 You sir. 303 00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:11,157 - Ah yes sir-y you're just in time for the floor show. 304 00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:15,662 And you're in luck, one table left in the blue room. 305 00:23:15,662 --> 00:23:16,763 Put it there. 306 00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:18,898 - Put what there? 307 00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:21,067 - Well you know what you got, put it on the wood. 308 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:24,437 - But I just came in for some directions. 309 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:26,272 - Don't I know you from somewhere? 310 00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:27,807 Were you here before? 311 00:23:27,807 --> 00:23:29,476 - Oh yes I've been in Crete before 312 00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:32,445 but for a good many years I've been abroad. 313 00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:36,215 - Yeah you, for a good many years you've been abroad? 314 00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:39,151 Well, all I can say is that surgeon 315 00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:42,154 he did a good job on you. 316 00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,959 What can I do for you sir or whatever? 317 00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,095 - How far is it to the next town? 318 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,963 - 10 miles in that direction. 319 00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:54,233 But there's no action there the action is all here. 320 00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:55,334 - But I'm supposed to go-- 321 00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:58,004 - No no, those towns are dead. 322 00:23:58,004 --> 00:24:01,908 Why, they're so small the city limit signs are back to back. 323 00:24:01,908 --> 00:24:05,712 Why, after six o'clock they stand the sidewalks on end 324 00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:07,880 and use 'em for tombstone. 325 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,749 - Well I guess I gotta go now. 326 00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:14,220 - Ah-Ah-Ah, too bad the floor show is just beginning. 327 00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,387 Yes indeed. 328 00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:20,660 - Baby, how do I look? 329 00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:24,196 - Like a million drachma's. 330 00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:26,833 - And just as hard to make. 331 00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:31,838 - That girl's got more talent than I thought she had. 332 00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:33,405 Yes my dear, right. 333 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:39,278 Would you like a tongue sandwich? 334 00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:42,414 - No I never eat anything that comes from an animal's mouth. 335 00:24:42,414 --> 00:24:43,983 - You said you never eat anything 336 00:24:43,983 --> 00:24:45,652 that comes from an animal's mouth? 337 00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:46,853 - No. 338 00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:48,621 - Well then how about a couple of eggs? 339 00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:49,622 - Not today. 340 00:24:54,026 --> 00:24:56,395 - You see anything else you like? 341 00:24:56,395 --> 00:24:57,429 - Yeah. 342 00:24:57,429 --> 00:24:59,431 - I mean anything on the platter. 343 00:24:59,431 --> 00:25:01,467 - Well if she'd you know hold it steady 344 00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:04,403 for a couple of seconds I could make up my mind. 345 00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:05,638 - Ah. 346 00:25:05,638 --> 00:25:06,773 - Perhaps before she came out front 347 00:25:06,773 --> 00:25:08,207 she was back churning some butter 348 00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:11,510 or grinding some coffee or shaking a martini or something. 349 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,446 - It's just her vibrant personality. 350 00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:17,183 Yeah, but mister, buddy, 351 00:25:17,183 --> 00:25:19,451 don't fool with her unless you mean business. 352 00:25:19,451 --> 00:25:20,887 - Why not? 353 00:25:20,887 --> 00:25:23,089 - Well she's like good paint, once you stir her up 354 00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:25,958 she's hard to get off your hands. 355 00:25:28,561 --> 00:25:30,396 Anything else you'd like? 356 00:25:31,297 --> 00:25:32,131 - Yeah. 357 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:34,601 What's that? 358 00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:35,668 - Ham. 359 00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:36,936 - Is it fresh? 360 00:25:36,936 --> 00:25:40,072 - Is it fresh? Why that ham was cured last week. 361 00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:41,540 - Looks like it had a relapse. 362 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:43,610 - Yeah, well then how about this cheese 363 00:25:43,610 --> 00:25:45,111 imported from Switzerland? 364 00:25:45,111 --> 00:25:47,279 - That cheese is imported from Switzerland? 365 00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:49,115 - Imported from Switzerland. 366 00:25:49,115 --> 00:25:50,983 - Are you sure it wasn't deported. 367 00:25:52,585 --> 00:25:56,222 - I think your proboscis is working overtime. 368 00:25:56,222 --> 00:25:57,690 Yes. 369 00:25:57,690 --> 00:26:00,292 I see that I can't interest you in anything to eat. 370 00:26:00,292 --> 00:26:03,229 - Oh I don't, how are your prices? 371 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,097 - How hungry are you? 372 00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:07,266 - I'm so hungry I could eat like a horse. 373 00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:10,502 - Oh, to eat like a horse, 20 drachmas. 374 00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:15,842 But if you wanna eat like a human, 200 drachmas. 375 00:26:15,842 --> 00:26:16,776 - 200 hundred. 376 00:26:16,776 --> 00:26:18,110 - AH ah ah, wait, wait, wait. 377 00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:20,312 Don't be impetuous. 378 00:26:20,312 --> 00:26:23,616 Why don't you try one of our 20 drachmas steaks 379 00:26:23,616 --> 00:26:24,784 super special. 380 00:26:26,118 --> 00:26:29,288 - 20 drachmas, now that's reasonable enough. 381 00:26:29,288 --> 00:26:31,190 - How would you like it? 382 00:26:31,190 --> 00:26:32,358 - Medium rare. 383 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:37,096 - Medium rare, one porter horse steak. 384 00:26:38,397 --> 00:26:40,667 - Porter horse steak? 385 00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:42,268 Whoa, scratch that. 386 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:44,737 Entree. 387 00:26:46,639 --> 00:26:48,574 Look I'll just pass on the food. 388 00:26:48,574 --> 00:26:49,842 What I need now is drink. 389 00:26:49,842 --> 00:26:50,777 - Well we have everything. 390 00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:53,179 - What is this, what is this? 391 00:26:53,179 --> 00:26:56,382 I'll try one of these rainbow trout cocktails. 392 00:26:56,382 --> 00:26:58,050 - One rainbow trout. 393 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:02,321 Wait 'til you taste this trout, it is the 394 00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:04,824 most delicious ever. 395 00:27:05,725 --> 00:27:06,558 Ah-ha. 396 00:27:16,535 --> 00:27:18,971 - Fella, that was some drink. 397 00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:23,009 Well, buddy I gotta get going. 398 00:27:23,009 --> 00:27:25,444 I gotta go on a mission. 399 00:27:25,444 --> 00:27:29,648 I gotta find the rightful heir to the crown of Crete. 400 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:34,486 Whomever she might be, whomever she'll be worth millions. 401 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,555 - Would you say that again? 402 00:27:36,555 --> 00:27:40,727 - I'm gonna go find the rightful heir to the crown of Crete. 403 00:27:44,263 --> 00:27:46,933 - It's time for us to go in now. 404 00:27:51,904 --> 00:27:53,139 - Mine? 405 00:27:53,139 --> 00:27:55,641 - Oh go right ahead, why in these parts 406 00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:57,977 woman are a tenth of a drachma a dozen. 407 00:27:57,977 --> 00:28:00,747 - A tenth of a drachma a dozen? 408 00:28:00,747 --> 00:28:04,884 And I'll my life I've bee squandering money on jelly beans. 409 00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:07,987 - Are you alright Theseus? 410 00:28:07,987 --> 00:28:10,089 - May I help you gentlemen? 411 00:28:10,089 --> 00:28:13,159 - Nereus, Lander, come join us. 412 00:28:16,562 --> 00:28:19,465 - It takes a little time to get to the palace of Minos 413 00:28:19,465 --> 00:28:21,533 from the robber's rust in. 414 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:22,735 And it takes a little time, 415 00:28:22,735 --> 00:28:25,171 even for a fast workers like Scylla, 416 00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:29,075 to break in the new Captain of the Guard to his duties. 417 00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:32,745 At the moment Scylla is at the feet of her king 418 00:28:32,745 --> 00:28:36,916 and Theseus and his party are at the door of the palace. 419 00:28:38,084 --> 00:28:41,487 - Your Majesties, Theseus of Corinth. 420 00:28:46,993 --> 00:28:48,861 - Ah, Theseus. 421 00:28:48,861 --> 00:28:50,329 Theseus of Corinth, 422 00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:52,464 to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit? 423 00:28:52,464 --> 00:28:55,567 - We have reason to believe in the existence of a child, 424 00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:58,771 your long lost niece and we're on a mission. 425 00:28:58,771 --> 00:29:00,272 To find the child. 426 00:29:00,272 --> 00:29:02,875 - Oh, if you only could. 427 00:29:02,875 --> 00:29:04,243 - You will give us aid? 428 00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:07,413 - I intend to give you more than that. 429 00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:13,019 I'll give you Pandora our most trusted servant. 430 00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:21,227 She will guide you to where my niece would be living. 431 00:29:21,227 --> 00:29:23,662 - Then you know where she is. 432 00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:26,899 Why would you try to find her before? 433 00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:29,368 - Oh we have but it's a very dangerous journey. 434 00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:30,769 Every man we've sent has either been 435 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,772 turned into pork sausages on Circee's island 436 00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:38,444 or chopped into mincemeat in the land of the Amazons. 437 00:29:38,444 --> 00:29:41,180 - Well, that doesn't bother me. 438 00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:42,114 - I'm glad. 439 00:29:43,049 --> 00:29:45,051 - Oh I'm glad you're glad. 440 00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:45,885 - Oh. 441 00:29:47,887 --> 00:29:50,857 - Does the child have any identifying marks on her? 442 00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:53,592 - She has a birthmark in the shape of a crown, 443 00:29:53,592 --> 00:29:56,428 as have all we royalty of Crete. 444 00:29:56,428 --> 00:29:58,530 - Where might this mark be? 445 00:29:58,530 --> 00:29:59,798 - Really? 446 00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:00,632 - Oh. 447 00:30:01,901 --> 00:30:04,403 - Yes, on the right hand side. 448 00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:11,643 - Well ah, we're grateful for your assistant your Majesty. 449 00:30:12,845 --> 00:30:15,281 - Remember, this is a dangerous journey. 450 00:30:15,281 --> 00:30:17,816 First you must secure passage through Circee's island. 451 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:18,918 - Nothing taunt me. 452 00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:21,520 Onto Circee's island. 453 00:30:26,592 --> 00:30:28,027 - Oh. 454 00:30:28,027 --> 00:30:29,728 I'm sorry, my sworn. 455 00:30:31,130 --> 00:30:33,799 - Good journey my friend. 456 00:30:33,799 --> 00:30:35,234 Now I'd like a last farewell 457 00:30:35,234 --> 00:30:38,737 with my trusted servant Pandora. 458 00:30:38,737 --> 00:30:41,473 A private farewell if you please. 459 00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,380 Remember my instructions Pandora. 460 00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:51,350 If you follow them you have freedom. 461 00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:53,019 Do you hear? 462 00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:54,220 Freedom. 463 00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:56,722 - You needn't worry, I'll follow. 464 00:31:15,774 --> 00:31:17,509 - After that deal my father knows 465 00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:20,079 to whom he can entrust his box. 466 00:31:21,413 --> 00:31:24,116 - You Theseus, I command you halt. 467 00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:25,417 - Who are you? 468 00:31:25,417 --> 00:31:27,219 - I'm an oracle. 469 00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:28,820 - You're an oracle? 470 00:31:28,820 --> 00:31:33,392 - Not an oracle, an oracle, a plain old everyday oracle. 471 00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:35,327 I command you take this box and guard it 472 00:31:35,327 --> 00:31:37,396 and its contents with your life. 473 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:38,697 - What's in the box? 474 00:31:38,697 --> 00:31:40,566 - In the box is troubles. 475 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:42,901 Now I command you take the box. 476 00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:46,973 - We can't take an old box, especially one with troubles. 477 00:31:46,973 --> 00:31:48,407 We're on a mission. 478 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:51,177 - You heard me, I command you take the box. 479 00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:57,549 - Are you sure you're a plain ordinary everyday oracle? 480 00:31:57,549 --> 00:31:59,885 - Just take the box. 481 00:32:03,455 --> 00:32:06,558 Now don't forget, don't open the box. 482 00:32:10,562 --> 00:32:12,131 Now be on your way. 483 00:32:32,751 --> 00:32:36,922 - Are you sure you're a plain ordinary everyday oracle? 484 00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:42,794 Alright already, plain ordinary everyday oracle. 485 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:46,832 - Oh sometimes these mortals can be so exasperating. 486 00:32:46,832 --> 00:32:50,936 But sometimes, now to take care of that little lady 487 00:32:50,936 --> 00:32:53,205 in the forest of the Opals. 488 00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:03,482 - Takes much longer to find me now. 489 00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:06,752 Used to be you could catch me almost immediately. 490 00:33:06,752 --> 00:33:11,223 - That's because, because you, you've grown up. 491 00:33:11,223 --> 00:33:12,891 - Is growing up sad? 492 00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:16,528 Why do you always look at me like that? 493 00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:18,064 Am I funny looking? 494 00:33:18,064 --> 00:33:20,666 - No, you're not funny looking. 495 00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:25,137 - Did I say something to offend you? 496 00:33:26,405 --> 00:33:28,307 - I, I better be going. 497 00:34:22,428 --> 00:34:25,097 - Alright, I see you down there. 498 00:34:26,832 --> 00:34:30,369 The only lecherous tree in the forest. 499 00:34:30,369 --> 00:34:32,471 Get up here this instant. 500 00:34:36,242 --> 00:34:39,578 You should be ashamed of yourself. 501 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:42,914 Making a fool of yourself over that child. 502 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:46,152 Oh and get those stupid leaves off of you. 503 00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:50,356 - Theseus. 504 00:34:50,356 --> 00:34:51,623 - Yes? 505 00:34:51,623 --> 00:34:53,759 - Why have you dedicated yourself so unselfishly 506 00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:56,695 to the task of searching for missing persons? 507 00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:59,298 - Ever since I was a little boy I've been searching. 508 00:34:59,298 --> 00:35:02,734 Yes, my parents and my twin brother and myself 509 00:35:02,734 --> 00:35:04,570 were crossing a wilderness. 510 00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:07,005 We camped and in the middle of the night 511 00:35:07,005 --> 00:35:09,408 there was this frightful noise. 512 00:35:09,408 --> 00:35:11,177 A pack of wolves had entered out tent 513 00:35:11,177 --> 00:35:13,345 and taken my brother away. 514 00:35:14,546 --> 00:35:16,382 Ever since that night I've been 515 00:35:16,382 --> 00:35:19,718 hunting and searching and searching and hunting. 516 00:35:19,718 --> 00:35:22,988 - And you found no trace of him? 517 00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:25,624 - But I haven't given up hope. 518 00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:28,093 As I've dedicated my life to people who have 519 00:35:28,093 --> 00:35:30,196 loved ones among the missing. 520 00:35:30,196 --> 00:35:31,430 - I understand. 521 00:35:32,398 --> 00:35:35,401 Ah, don't you have a girl? 522 00:35:35,401 --> 00:35:37,569 - What'd I do with a girl? 523 00:35:38,970 --> 00:35:42,441 - Oh well I'm sure you could think of something. 524 00:35:42,441 --> 00:35:44,743 I'll just bet you've had your share of women. 525 00:35:44,743 --> 00:35:47,846 - Sure, women throw themselves at me. 526 00:35:49,014 --> 00:35:50,782 That is they throw themselves at me 527 00:35:50,782 --> 00:35:53,652 after they've run out of rocks. 528 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:57,723 - Oh nonsense, now you are a very attractive man. 529 00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:02,461 Haven't you ever thought of, of marriage. 530 00:36:02,461 --> 00:36:05,130 - Sure I've thought of marriage. 531 00:36:06,498 --> 00:36:09,535 When I think about it it would scare me half to death. 532 00:36:09,535 --> 00:36:12,771 - Oh but weddings are so beautiful. 533 00:36:12,771 --> 00:36:15,040 - I hate weddings. 534 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,209 - You hate weddings? 535 00:36:17,209 --> 00:36:21,012 - My personal experiences with weddings has been very bad. 536 00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:22,748 After the last wedding 537 00:36:22,748 --> 00:36:25,784 I got a black eye for kissing the bride. 538 00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:29,555 - For kissing the bride, who hit you? 539 00:36:29,555 --> 00:36:30,856 - Her husband. 540 00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:32,458 - But it's customary to kiss the bride 541 00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:34,826 after the wedding ceremony. 542 00:36:34,826 --> 00:36:36,762 - But four years after? 543 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:42,868 - Oh now that couldn't have turned you against marriage. 544 00:36:44,303 --> 00:36:46,805 - I've discovered early in life 545 00:36:46,805 --> 00:36:50,342 that a heaving bosom is really a hope chest. 546 00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:51,777 - Oh now that's very cynical. 547 00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:53,945 What if all men felt like that? 548 00:36:53,945 --> 00:36:57,649 After all it takes two to make a marriage. 549 00:36:57,649 --> 00:37:00,118 - Yes it does, it takes two to make a marriage. 550 00:37:00,118 --> 00:37:03,221 A single girl and an anxious mother. 551 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,324 - Oh, you sound bitter. 552 00:37:05,324 --> 00:37:07,859 - Well, perhaps I am. 553 00:37:07,859 --> 00:37:10,896 But, there was a girl once. 554 00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:12,498 - Ah, I thought so. 555 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,270 - I met her on a black sea cruise boat. 556 00:37:19,438 --> 00:37:22,374 That was the first time I saw her. 557 00:37:22,374 --> 00:37:26,044 She had on a dress that fit her like a sun burn. 558 00:37:26,044 --> 00:37:29,481 She looked so curvaceous, she looked so soft 559 00:37:29,481 --> 00:37:32,718 that she made everyone else look hard. 560 00:37:32,718 --> 00:37:36,888 Especially the men, yes the men looked the hardest. 561 00:37:38,123 --> 00:37:39,358 - Well, what happened to her? 562 00:37:39,358 --> 00:37:41,360 - Oh I went with her for a while. 563 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,330 I even asked her for her hand in marriage. 564 00:37:44,330 --> 00:37:46,898 Oh, she asked me what my prospects were. 565 00:37:46,898 --> 00:37:50,268 And I told her all about myself. 566 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,938 And I said I had expectations of coming into 567 00:37:52,938 --> 00:37:57,809 a considerable fortune from my wealthy uncle Panus. 568 00:37:57,809 --> 00:37:59,611 Then I didn't hear from her for about a month. 569 00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:00,579 I was frank. 570 00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:04,282 Then I finally got a letter, it said 571 00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:07,886 "Dear Theseus, I find through circumstances 572 00:38:09,321 --> 00:38:13,024 "that is necessary for us to discontinue our relationship. 573 00:38:14,159 --> 00:38:17,663 "I hope you understand. Signed, your aunt." 574 00:38:20,832 --> 00:38:22,901 - Oh, what a dirty trick. 575 00:38:25,771 --> 00:38:29,007 Your comrades, are they too unattached? 576 00:38:30,409 --> 00:38:32,544 - Nereus and Leander? 577 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,350 Nereus thinks that girls cut his wind 578 00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:42,187 and Leander, Leander's so involved with himself 579 00:38:42,187 --> 00:38:45,290 that he couldn't really be involved with a girl. 580 00:38:45,290 --> 00:38:47,726 - Oh, he seemed so vain. 581 00:38:47,726 --> 00:38:48,560 - Vain? 582 00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:52,063 In his casinule back in Lemnos 583 00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:54,533 he has a mirror on the bathroom ceiling 584 00:38:54,533 --> 00:38:57,135 so he can watch himself gargle. 585 00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:01,740 Well, it's been a long day. 586 00:39:04,109 --> 00:39:08,279 You're a, you know you're a very sweet girl Pandora. 587 00:39:21,159 --> 00:39:22,327 - Say daddy-o. 588 00:39:25,631 --> 00:39:28,299 Like, what happened to you? 589 00:39:28,299 --> 00:39:30,035 - My son the guard. 590 00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:31,970 Your mother and I had a fight last night. 591 00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:33,371 She threw my clothes out of the bedroom, 592 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,840 down the stairs, into the yard-- 593 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,843 - Yeah yeah yeah, but, like how did you get ruffled? 594 00:39:37,843 --> 00:39:39,845 - I was in them. 595 00:39:39,845 --> 00:39:41,780 But don't worry, I got even. 596 00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:44,550 This morning I beat her up. 597 00:39:44,550 --> 00:39:46,818 - Whoa, like you hit mumsy? 598 00:39:48,186 --> 00:39:50,121 - No big shot, no no. 599 00:39:50,121 --> 00:39:52,458 I didn't hit her, I beat her up. 600 00:39:52,458 --> 00:39:54,726 I got up at six and she got up at seven. 601 00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:56,061 - Oh, so what's that dad, 602 00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:58,730 some kind of a big it leave in deal? 603 00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,632 - No, I was up a whole hour before her. 604 00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:02,834 Now she's worried where I was for a whole hour, 605 00:40:02,834 --> 00:40:04,670 that's how I got even. 606 00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:08,006 Now, what are you doing down here? 607 00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:10,776 - Mumsy sent me to keep an eye on you daddy-o. 608 00:40:10,776 --> 00:40:13,579 - Oh-oh-oh, by my big shot son, huh? 609 00:40:13,579 --> 00:40:15,647 And who's gonna keep an eye on you? 610 00:40:16,848 --> 00:40:19,685 - Oh pop, cool it with the sparks, huh? 611 00:40:19,685 --> 00:40:21,887 Now she's hip to where both of us are. 612 00:40:21,887 --> 00:40:24,389 Alright, I heard you. 613 00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:28,727 What or whom are you up to? 614 00:40:28,727 --> 00:40:32,731 Never mind, both of you get up here this instant! 615 00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:48,547 - Oh look, look the island of Circee. 616 00:40:49,581 --> 00:40:51,983 - Someone should advise that girl 617 00:40:51,983 --> 00:40:54,586 regarding her personal day dreamers. 618 00:40:54,586 --> 00:40:56,788 - Oh, that odor? It's from her pigs. 619 00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:59,124 - Then someone should advise them. 620 00:40:59,124 --> 00:41:01,426 - Look at that cloud hanging over it. 621 00:41:01,426 --> 00:41:03,662 I've never seen a cloud like that anywhere else. 622 00:41:03,662 --> 00:41:06,064 - There's not a cloud like that anywhere else. 623 00:41:06,064 --> 00:41:08,600 This one's made entirely of vultures. 624 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,268 - Yeah, look at that sea. 625 00:41:10,268 --> 00:41:12,337 - So valen and savage. 626 00:41:12,337 --> 00:41:15,006 - Oh, look at it go up and down. 627 00:41:16,575 --> 00:41:20,746 Up and down, up and ugh I can hardly contain myself. 628 00:41:22,548 --> 00:41:26,384 - If you don't stop that I won't be able to contain myself. 629 00:41:26,384 --> 00:41:28,620 - Here comes a boat, look at it toss. 630 00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:30,522 - You want me or Leander to go in Theseus. 631 00:41:30,522 --> 00:41:33,124 - No Nereus, this is dangerous. 632 00:41:34,225 --> 00:41:36,394 It's my duty to go. 633 00:41:36,394 --> 00:41:38,864 - Look at that boat, pitch and row. 634 00:41:38,864 --> 00:41:40,832 Pitch and row. 635 00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:43,434 - Oh Leander, please Leander. 636 00:41:43,434 --> 00:41:47,539 - Oh Theseus, Theseus they say she turn men into swine. 637 00:41:47,539 --> 00:41:48,940 Please be careful. 638 00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:50,909 - Take these Theseus, they counteract 639 00:41:50,909 --> 00:41:52,711 the effect of Circee's powers. 640 00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:56,314 - Oh, superstitious poppy cot my friend. 641 00:41:56,314 --> 00:41:59,685 But maybe you got something for seasickness? 642 00:41:59,685 --> 00:42:03,121 - Hey, a boat just pulled into shore Theseus. 643 00:42:03,121 --> 00:42:06,558 - Uh, oh look at that fairy men. 644 00:42:06,558 --> 00:42:08,259 - And what a crocked body. 645 00:42:08,259 --> 00:42:10,662 - They say he's mind's so twist 646 00:42:10,662 --> 00:42:13,264 I'd have to screw his hat on. 647 00:42:13,264 --> 00:42:15,533 - He's a monster alright. 648 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:17,335 - Well at least he can't be two-faced. 649 00:42:17,335 --> 00:42:20,305 If he was he wouldn't be wearing the one he's got on now. 650 00:42:20,305 --> 00:42:22,107 - Let us accompany you Theseus. 651 00:42:22,107 --> 00:42:25,110 - Oh, out of the question. 652 00:42:27,145 --> 00:42:29,815 Now for another short boat trip. 653 00:42:31,516 --> 00:42:33,719 Now I know what they mean when they say 654 00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:37,623 a boat trip brings out the best in one. 655 00:42:57,709 --> 00:43:00,646 That black cloud, by Zeus it's dark. 656 00:43:24,636 --> 00:43:26,905 - What's the matter, tense? 657 00:43:32,143 --> 00:43:35,146 Drink this, it'll sooth your nerves. 658 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:53,131 - Ah, I could turn myself into a bull again. 659 00:43:53,131 --> 00:43:55,566 Nah, she's onto that one too. 660 00:44:00,672 --> 00:44:02,974 - That Circee's at it again. 661 00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:06,277 Wasn't her mother that witch that you used to-- 662 00:44:06,277 --> 00:44:10,015 - Ah ah ah ah, it was strictly a professional relationship. 663 00:44:10,015 --> 00:44:13,351 We took turns performing feats of magic. 664 00:44:14,686 --> 00:44:17,655 First I'd show her a trick or two and then-- 665 00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:19,991 - And then she'd show you a thing or two. 666 00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:24,295 I'll never forget that chariot ride she took you on. 667 00:44:24,295 --> 00:44:25,130 - Yeah. 668 00:44:26,464 --> 00:44:29,500 Hey, while she was driving she turned into a 669 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:32,503 bouquet of flowers, into a kangaroo, 670 00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:34,639 into a dragon-- 671 00:44:35,841 --> 00:44:39,344 - And then she turned into a roadside inn. 672 00:44:50,288 --> 00:44:51,122 - Theseus. 673 00:44:54,993 --> 00:44:55,827 Theseus. 674 00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,509 I say Theseus of Corinth. 675 00:45:22,153 --> 00:45:22,988 - Tense? 676 00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:41,739 - Where is Theseus? 677 00:46:16,474 --> 00:46:18,109 - So Theseus and his friends 678 00:46:18,109 --> 00:46:20,578 passed through the domain of Circee. 679 00:46:20,578 --> 00:46:22,447 And several days later were on the borders 680 00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:24,749 of the land of the Amazons. 681 00:46:24,749 --> 00:46:27,585 Fierce some very unladylike girls. 682 00:46:27,585 --> 00:46:31,422 With an unmistakable odor of a locker room about them. 683 00:46:31,422 --> 00:46:35,726 King Minos got wind of the events on the isle of Circee. 684 00:46:35,726 --> 00:46:38,964 The wind was in the right direction that day. 685 00:46:38,964 --> 00:46:42,901 So he and Scylla hurried to the land of the Amazons. 686 00:46:42,901 --> 00:46:45,603 He knew the Amazons would stop Theseus 687 00:46:45,603 --> 00:46:48,106 but he wanted to make sure. 688 00:46:48,106 --> 00:46:51,442 Scylla wanted to make anybody she could. 689 00:46:52,710 --> 00:46:55,947 Now, in the land of the Amazons 690 00:46:55,947 --> 00:46:59,284 there lived a wild man named Erg. 691 00:47:00,718 --> 00:47:03,154 Erg had been brought up by the wolves 692 00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:07,325 and he had all the instincts of his foster parents. 693 00:47:19,104 --> 00:47:21,839 See what I mean, he drove them wild. 694 00:47:24,976 --> 00:47:29,147 And that wasn't all, he constantly harassed them. 695 00:47:29,147 --> 00:47:31,116 The circles under their eyes became larger 696 00:47:31,116 --> 00:47:33,718 because they couldn't take their beauty naps. 697 00:47:33,718 --> 00:47:38,156 And it was getting so they were afraid to lie down anywhere. 698 00:48:01,679 --> 00:48:06,017 It wasn't that they didn't try to catch him. 699 00:48:06,017 --> 00:48:09,087 Sometimes they even had him cornered. 700 00:48:11,222 --> 00:48:14,559 But he fought back savagely like a wolf. 701 00:48:21,799 --> 00:48:23,768 Then he'd return to his layer 702 00:48:23,768 --> 00:48:27,939 where he'd savor the results of his hunting and eat. 703 00:48:40,218 --> 00:48:43,321 If the Amazons hated and distrusted men 704 00:48:43,321 --> 00:48:46,157 Erg was certainly the main reason. 705 00:48:58,669 --> 00:49:01,939 And since men were banned from the country of the Amazons 706 00:49:01,939 --> 00:49:03,975 and since Scylla had no intention 707 00:49:03,975 --> 00:49:06,777 of getting involved with a bunch of women, 708 00:49:06,777 --> 00:49:09,914 King Minos had to make a few adjustments. 709 00:49:09,914 --> 00:49:13,018 And they were mainly in his clothing. 710 00:49:14,652 --> 00:49:16,654 - This is non-sensical. 711 00:49:16,654 --> 00:49:20,158 Why don't you just go in and warn them about Theseus. 712 00:49:20,158 --> 00:49:24,595 - Women have never liked me you know very well 713 00:49:24,595 --> 00:49:27,265 that as soon as I walk into a place 714 00:49:27,265 --> 00:49:30,335 they show their claws and arch their back. 715 00:49:30,335 --> 00:49:31,869 - Perhaps they wouldn't go that if you didn't 716 00:49:31,869 --> 00:49:34,372 switch your tail so violently. 717 00:49:39,777 --> 00:49:41,979 - Here, how do I look? 718 00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:42,980 - Ravishing. 719 00:49:47,852 --> 00:49:48,686 - Yoo-Hoo. 720 00:49:49,587 --> 00:49:52,257 Captain, my body needs guarding. 721 00:49:57,695 --> 00:50:00,165 Uh there's something moving among the rafts. 722 00:50:00,165 --> 00:50:02,267 In the forest over there. 723 00:50:02,267 --> 00:50:04,869 An animal, a very large animal. 724 00:50:06,071 --> 00:50:09,274 I'd feel safer if you were a little closer. 725 00:50:09,274 --> 00:50:13,511 Like, so close that if someone shot an arrow 726 00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:17,182 or anything you'd be here to guard the body. 727 00:50:19,884 --> 00:50:20,818 Completely. 728 00:50:22,053 --> 00:50:23,221 That's better. 729 00:50:24,455 --> 00:50:26,791 Say, are you loosing weight? 730 00:50:30,461 --> 00:50:32,363 You look a little pinked. 731 00:50:44,609 --> 00:50:47,178 - Well, here we are in the border. 732 00:50:47,178 --> 00:50:48,913 Tonight I'll go in alone. 733 00:50:48,913 --> 00:50:50,481 - Alone? 734 00:50:50,481 --> 00:50:52,250 - Why of course. 735 00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:53,984 I always go in alone. 736 00:50:55,153 --> 00:50:56,921 - Oh you've had such a wonderful life 737 00:50:56,921 --> 00:50:59,824 so full of excitement and adventure. 738 00:50:59,824 --> 00:51:00,991 Is it really true what they say 739 00:51:00,991 --> 00:51:02,927 about the land of the Cyclops? 740 00:51:02,927 --> 00:51:05,363 Is everything really as big as they say? 741 00:51:05,363 --> 00:51:06,731 - Immense. 742 00:51:06,731 --> 00:51:08,633 Why the cows there are so tall 743 00:51:08,633 --> 00:51:11,602 they need Swiss bell ringers to milk them. 744 00:51:11,602 --> 00:51:14,439 And you never saw a land so green. 745 00:51:15,606 --> 00:51:19,076 Considering they don't have any rain, just dew. 746 00:51:19,076 --> 00:51:21,779 One morning a man stepped off his porch 747 00:51:21,779 --> 00:51:25,116 and that afternoon they were dragging the dew for his body. 748 00:51:27,252 --> 00:51:29,754 - I can't help think about your twin brother. 749 00:51:29,754 --> 00:51:32,657 How would you recognize him if you ever found him? 750 00:51:32,657 --> 00:51:36,827 - Well, I wouldn't know him unless he had a pin like this. 751 00:51:37,995 --> 00:51:41,332 He had it on when he disappeared. 752 00:51:41,332 --> 00:51:44,335 It was holding up his diapers. 753 00:51:47,238 --> 00:51:48,573 A tiger. 754 00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:50,408 I'll take care of him. 755 00:52:03,388 --> 00:52:04,222 - Oh. 756 00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:08,926 - He got away. 757 00:52:10,094 --> 00:52:11,696 - When the beast was in the air leaping at you 758 00:52:11,696 --> 00:52:14,865 you had a clear shot of his belly with your sword. 759 00:52:14,865 --> 00:52:16,434 - When he was in the air 760 00:52:16,434 --> 00:52:20,070 I didn't like the expression on his face for a rug. 761 00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:39,390 - Would you please direct me to your leader? 762 00:52:39,390 --> 00:52:40,891 - I am the leader. 763 00:52:42,059 --> 00:52:44,429 What are you doing in the land of the Amazons? 764 00:52:44,429 --> 00:52:45,596 Strange woman. 765 00:52:46,864 --> 00:52:48,699 And I do mean strange. 766 00:52:49,900 --> 00:52:53,204 - I've come to warn you about an invasion. 767 00:52:54,138 --> 00:52:55,706 - An invasion? 768 00:52:55,706 --> 00:53:00,245 - There's a strong force of men poised on your borders. 769 00:53:00,245 --> 00:53:03,147 Under the leadership of Theseus. 770 00:53:03,147 --> 00:53:07,017 Theseus, a renowned warrior of the Greeks. 771 00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:09,620 - Never heard of him. 772 00:53:09,620 --> 00:53:13,791 But we'll stop him if that's what you're worried about. 773 00:53:14,859 --> 00:53:17,528 - I do then and a fond farewell. 774 00:53:19,597 --> 00:53:23,167 - Where do you think you're going? 775 00:53:29,240 --> 00:53:32,810 Once a woman enters our camp there's no leaving. 776 00:53:32,810 --> 00:53:34,245 The only way you get out of here 777 00:53:34,245 --> 00:53:37,548 is to lose an individual combat to a man 778 00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:39,317 then you're banished. 779 00:53:40,518 --> 00:53:42,353 So sit down and relax. 780 00:53:46,557 --> 00:53:48,726 - Oh, what a lovely stone. 781 00:53:53,197 --> 00:53:56,801 - The symbol of authority among the Amazons. 782 00:53:56,801 --> 00:54:00,137 Traditionally the queen always wears it. 783 00:54:03,941 --> 00:54:07,745 - Aren't you going to warn them about the enemy? 784 00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:09,414 - There's time. 785 00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:12,049 Besides, I'd like to chat for a while. 786 00:54:12,049 --> 00:54:13,818 It's not often I have an opportunity 787 00:54:13,818 --> 00:54:16,954 to talk to someone different. 788 00:54:16,954 --> 00:54:19,357 And sister you are different. 789 00:54:22,893 --> 00:54:26,163 Sometimes I get so bored with this job. 790 00:54:28,499 --> 00:54:32,703 - Alright, but they, they might be almost upon us. 791 00:54:32,703 --> 00:54:36,574 That Theseus, the renowned Greek warrior, 792 00:54:36,574 --> 00:54:38,509 is a very sneaky one. 793 00:54:38,509 --> 00:54:39,677 - Oh, alright. 794 00:54:45,683 --> 00:54:49,687 This, this newly adopted sister has brought news 795 00:54:51,522 --> 00:54:53,358 of an invasion of men. 796 00:54:55,493 --> 00:54:57,027 - Men! 797 00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:01,532 Alright girls, are we gonna make mince meat out of 'em? 798 00:55:01,532 --> 00:55:03,300 Yeah! Yeah! 799 00:55:04,502 --> 00:55:06,270 - Are we gonna let 'em take over our country? 800 00:55:06,270 --> 00:55:07,338 No! 801 00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:11,409 - Don't forget, men are coming. 802 00:55:12,810 --> 00:55:15,480 Alright, get your weapons ready. 803 00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:19,850 - No no no. 804 00:55:19,850 --> 00:55:21,919 Remember, you're Amazons. 805 00:56:35,660 --> 00:56:36,827 Come on let's go! 806 00:56:43,133 --> 00:56:46,303 - This is no grape crush, this is war! 807 00:57:16,467 --> 00:57:18,168 - There, how'd you like that? 808 00:57:21,872 --> 00:57:24,609 - I said, how'd you like that? 809 00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:27,377 - It was lovely but so strenuous. 810 00:57:28,546 --> 00:57:30,147 It was nice while it was going on 811 00:57:30,147 --> 00:57:33,417 but now that it's over everybody's a frightful mess. 812 00:57:41,626 --> 00:57:43,561 - Where do you think you're going? 813 00:57:43,561 --> 00:57:44,795 Come back here! 814 00:57:54,338 --> 00:57:57,274 - The woman, she's gone, after her. 815 00:57:58,876 --> 00:58:00,310 Come on, let's go! 816 00:58:06,751 --> 00:58:09,086 Now we have fight. 817 00:58:10,187 --> 00:58:12,723 - That should make you happy. 818 00:58:12,723 --> 00:58:15,960 - You call yourself our leader. 819 00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:19,063 The girls are getting soft and lazy. 820 00:58:19,063 --> 00:58:21,465 We should always be at war. 821 00:58:21,465 --> 00:58:25,636 The girls would be happy, their minds would be occupied. 822 00:58:25,636 --> 00:58:29,807 - Perhaps they would be happy if their minds were occupied. 823 00:58:30,941 --> 00:58:34,545 But I suspect they'd be even happier 824 00:58:34,545 --> 00:58:36,714 if there was someone around 825 00:58:36,714 --> 00:58:40,317 to keep their bodies a little busier. 826 00:58:40,317 --> 00:58:42,252 - I'll go in and recon order. 827 00:58:42,252 --> 00:58:43,921 I'll find out where their pickets are 828 00:58:43,921 --> 00:58:47,958 and then tomorrow night we'll slip in through. 829 00:59:02,172 --> 00:59:05,676 - Go away sister, can't you see I'm busy? 830 00:59:05,676 --> 00:59:07,578 - Break it up, it's me. 831 00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:13,884 - We were just practicing a new thing in 832 00:59:13,884 --> 00:59:16,120 artificial respiration. 833 00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,756 Mouth to mouth breathing. 834 00:59:18,756 --> 00:59:21,158 - What was wrong with the old fashioned method? 835 00:59:21,158 --> 00:59:23,661 - Oh, that was very good too but with this one-- 836 00:59:23,661 --> 00:59:25,062 - You can explain the innovations 837 00:59:25,062 --> 00:59:26,864 in life saving to me later. 838 00:59:26,864 --> 00:59:29,199 We can go back to Crete now. 839 00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,702 - Have you warned the Amazons? 840 00:59:31,702 --> 00:59:34,905 - Oh yes, they are a tweety bunch. 841 00:59:34,905 --> 00:59:36,974 They were in a frenzy when I left. 842 00:59:36,974 --> 00:59:40,811 They'll put an end to Theseus' search alright. 843 00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:46,483 You know, the more I look at him 844 00:59:46,483 --> 00:59:48,953 the more anemic he seems to get. 845 01:00:56,787 --> 01:00:59,356 - Oh, he's been captured by now. 846 01:00:59,356 --> 01:01:00,958 - Captured, who? 847 01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:02,059 - Theseus. 848 01:01:02,059 --> 01:01:03,560 - How do you know? 849 01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:16,874 - Hey pop. 850 01:01:20,277 --> 01:01:24,448 Hey, like, what are you doing sacking out here, huh? 851 01:01:27,417 --> 01:01:30,788 - Your mother and I had words last night. 852 01:01:30,788 --> 01:01:33,523 You know son, one thing I'll never understand. 853 01:01:33,523 --> 01:01:36,827 Why is it that whenever your mother and I have words 854 01:01:36,827 --> 01:01:38,628 I never get to use mine? 855 01:01:43,633 --> 01:01:45,202 What are you laughing at? 856 01:01:45,202 --> 01:01:47,071 - Oh the way those crazy Amazon chicks 857 01:01:47,071 --> 01:01:49,306 have old Theseus tied up. 858 01:01:49,306 --> 01:01:52,642 Yes, like they're keeping him very cool. 859 01:01:55,012 --> 01:01:57,481 - Only one man approaches. 860 01:01:57,481 --> 01:02:01,385 - I'll take a patrol and we'll take him apart. 861 01:02:01,385 --> 01:02:05,856 - Only one man, I'll take min on an individual combat. 862 01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:08,158 - Individual combat? 863 01:02:08,158 --> 01:02:11,495 You'll be banished if you lose. 864 01:02:11,495 --> 01:02:14,031 - I'm not worried about that. 865 01:02:14,031 --> 01:02:16,266 Everybody behind the rocks. 866 01:02:17,434 --> 01:02:21,071 And remember, whatever happens don't interfere. 867 01:03:20,164 --> 01:03:21,765 - You're wonderful. 868 01:03:26,536 --> 01:03:30,707 I can swim 10 miles, throw the javelin, run the marathon, 869 01:03:32,442 --> 01:03:36,981 I can kill a deer at 15 hundred yards with one arrow. 870 01:03:36,981 --> 01:03:38,048 Can you cook? 871 01:03:44,488 --> 01:03:45,655 You've got me. 872 01:03:46,790 --> 01:03:49,126 - I only want Theseus of Corinth. 873 01:03:53,063 --> 01:03:56,901 - Wait, he'll be killed if I don't defeat him. 874 01:04:45,482 --> 01:04:47,417 - Let's get outta here. 875 01:04:48,685 --> 01:04:50,620 - I want to pass through your land. 876 01:04:50,620 --> 01:04:52,256 I hope my comrades and I will not have to 877 01:04:52,256 --> 01:04:54,691 fight our way through. 878 01:04:54,691 --> 01:04:57,861 - It's alright with me but you better get through 879 01:04:57,861 --> 01:05:00,030 before that one thaws out. 880 01:05:26,356 --> 01:05:29,826 - Well, we're finally out of the land of the Amazons. 881 01:05:29,826 --> 01:05:31,228 But where are we? 882 01:05:32,362 --> 01:05:34,364 You told us that you knew where the long lost 883 01:05:34,364 --> 01:05:36,033 princess of Crete was. 884 01:05:36,033 --> 01:05:39,336 - I know, I've been telling you lots of things. 885 01:05:39,336 --> 01:05:42,639 But there's one thing I didn't tell you. 886 01:05:42,639 --> 01:05:44,208 - What's that? 887 01:05:44,208 --> 01:05:46,543 - Well, I'm a terrible liar. 888 01:05:49,313 --> 01:05:52,182 I guess you'll never wanna see me again. 889 01:05:52,182 --> 01:05:55,752 Maybe I should just go back to Crete. 890 01:05:55,752 --> 01:05:58,355 - Well, you could stay with us. 891 01:05:58,355 --> 01:06:01,158 But just don't say anything. 892 01:06:01,158 --> 01:06:02,759 We better move out. 893 01:06:04,228 --> 01:06:06,296 I don't know where we're moving out to but 894 01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:07,831 we better move out. 895 01:06:19,743 --> 01:06:21,611 This looks as good a place as any, yeah? 896 01:06:21,611 --> 01:06:23,380 We'll make camp here tonight. 897 01:06:23,380 --> 01:06:25,015 - We're going to wander around forests forever 898 01:06:25,015 --> 01:06:26,616 looking for a ghost? 899 01:06:26,616 --> 01:06:28,718 - She could be on the other side of the world. 900 01:06:28,718 --> 01:06:32,856 - No she couldn't, remember the world is still flat. 901 01:06:32,856 --> 01:06:36,360 - I'm going for a walk through the forest. 902 01:06:42,399 --> 01:06:44,334 - There are people in the forest. 903 01:06:44,334 --> 01:06:45,302 - People? 904 01:06:45,302 --> 01:06:46,703 - Yes I saw them. 905 01:06:47,604 --> 01:06:49,839 I saw a very handsome muse. 906 01:06:51,775 --> 01:06:53,177 He didn't see me. 907 01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:16,366 - What are you doing here? 908 01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:19,303 - I was banished for losing to you. 909 01:07:31,681 --> 01:07:34,851 I'd like that return match now. 910 01:07:34,851 --> 01:07:36,953 - I'll give you one, but not right now. 911 01:07:36,953 --> 01:07:38,622 I'm not in the mood. 912 01:07:53,803 --> 01:07:56,540 - I think I'll take a stroll too. 913 01:08:13,723 --> 01:08:16,460 - Hey fella, hey oracle! 914 01:08:16,460 --> 01:08:19,062 I wanna give you back your box! 915 01:08:23,900 --> 01:08:27,804 - Well I think I finally got rid of that pest. 916 01:08:28,672 --> 01:08:30,840 What do we have here? 917 01:09:22,959 --> 01:09:25,028 - Glad I finally caught up with you. 918 01:09:25,028 --> 01:09:27,030 I wanna return your box. 919 01:09:30,467 --> 01:09:32,869 Hey, I wanna return your box. 920 01:09:37,407 --> 01:09:40,910 Aren't you the everyday ordinary oracle? 921 01:09:40,910 --> 01:09:44,648 - Yes, I'm the everyday ordinary oracle. 922 01:09:44,648 --> 01:09:47,784 - Well, I wanna return your box. 923 01:09:47,784 --> 01:09:51,788 - Go away, go away, can't you see I'm operating. 924 01:09:51,788 --> 01:09:53,423 - Well I don't know if you're operating or not 925 01:09:53,423 --> 01:09:55,492 but you're certainly making a very 926 01:09:55,492 --> 01:09:58,161 thorough examination of someone. 927 01:10:00,230 --> 01:10:02,131 You're a doctor too eh? 928 01:10:02,131 --> 01:10:05,802 Beside being an everyday ordinary oracle. 929 01:10:05,802 --> 01:10:07,971 - No, I'm not a doctor. 930 01:10:07,971 --> 01:10:11,408 - Aha, practicing without a license, huh? 931 01:10:12,809 --> 01:10:14,778 - I'm not practicing with or without a license. 932 01:10:14,778 --> 01:10:17,213 In fact I'm very much out of practice. 933 01:10:17,213 --> 01:10:20,317 Now be a good boy and run along, huh? 934 01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:27,524 Now take your box and get outta here until I ask you for it. 935 01:10:27,524 --> 01:10:31,661 - Are you sure you're an everyday ordinary household oracle? 936 01:10:34,531 --> 01:10:37,701 - Now this is where I decide to step in. 937 01:10:37,701 --> 01:10:40,370 Things are a little too quite and 938 01:10:40,370 --> 01:10:42,372 no one is like swinging. 939 01:10:44,274 --> 01:10:47,611 So I think I'll stir up a little action. 940 01:10:48,812 --> 01:10:52,549 I'll take a couple of hands full of lust dust 941 01:10:54,017 --> 01:10:55,585 and sprinkle them all over. 942 01:11:02,859 --> 01:11:05,061 Now the place will jump. 943 01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:15,098 - I'd like that return match now. 944 01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,010 - Ready? 945 01:13:01,878 --> 01:13:02,879 - Not quite. 946 01:13:46,523 --> 01:13:48,858 - Ha ha ha, now I've gotcha. 947 01:13:51,828 --> 01:13:53,763 You know there's something about that girl I like, 948 01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:56,600 I just can't put my fingers on it. 949 01:14:00,303 --> 01:14:03,607 - We'll make it three falls out of four. 950 01:14:26,029 --> 01:14:28,698 - My God, the crown J birthmark. 951 01:14:33,402 --> 01:14:34,671 You're a queen. 952 01:14:39,609 --> 01:14:42,178 You're a queen, you're a queen! 953 01:14:43,246 --> 01:14:46,550 - Sir, I'm just holding this for a lady. 954 01:14:58,628 --> 01:15:02,231 - We can open a gym in Athens if you'd like? 955 01:15:03,466 --> 01:15:06,603 - Pandora, we're gonna take this old box 956 01:15:08,037 --> 01:15:10,139 back to Corinth and I'm gonna build a palace around it 957 01:15:10,139 --> 01:15:10,974 for you. 958 01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:16,646 - You mean I'm rich? 959 01:15:16,646 --> 01:15:19,382 - You're a queen, you're the rightful ruler of Crete. 960 01:15:19,382 --> 01:15:20,917 - I am? 961 01:15:20,917 --> 01:15:22,619 - And you know something else? 962 01:15:22,619 --> 01:15:25,054 You're a very beautiful girl. 963 01:15:25,922 --> 01:15:26,756 - I am? 964 01:15:31,427 --> 01:15:34,964 - Meanwhile Kresha, the new queen of the Amazons 965 01:15:34,964 --> 01:15:37,200 tightens her net about Erg. 966 01:16:06,129 --> 01:16:08,798 - We've got him completely surrounded. 967 01:16:08,798 --> 01:16:10,800 I'll go in and take him. 968 01:16:47,170 --> 01:16:49,238 - Where are you going? 969 01:16:49,238 --> 01:16:51,040 - To be queen. 970 01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,176 Oh, Ganymede I'm going to be rich. 971 01:16:53,176 --> 01:16:55,311 I'm going to have furs and jewels. 972 01:16:55,311 --> 01:16:57,346 I'm even going to wear clothes. 973 01:16:57,346 --> 01:16:59,482 Oh Ganymede I'm going to have everything. 974 01:16:59,482 --> 01:17:00,817 - Everything? 975 01:17:00,817 --> 01:17:03,319 Everything except happiness Thetra. 976 01:17:03,319 --> 01:17:06,055 You belong here in the forest, I can't let you go. 977 01:17:06,055 --> 01:17:08,357 - But I wan to go Ganymede, I want to go. 978 01:17:18,868 --> 01:17:19,703 - Hey. 979 01:17:57,440 --> 01:17:59,776 - I really couldn't go with you Leander. 980 01:17:59,776 --> 01:18:03,880 Not even to be queen, I do belong here in the forest. 981 01:18:25,134 --> 01:18:29,405 - So you see, I really had a ball that night. 982 01:18:29,405 --> 01:18:31,440 The next day Theseus and his party 983 01:18:31,440 --> 01:18:35,478 stared through the land of the Amazons expecting trouble. 984 01:18:35,478 --> 01:18:38,748 But they found not the slightest opposition. 985 01:18:38,748 --> 01:18:42,418 Since there was now a new king of the Amazons 986 01:18:42,418 --> 01:18:45,121 who turned out to be none other than Theseus' 987 01:18:45,121 --> 01:18:46,555 lost brother Erg. 988 01:19:02,906 --> 01:19:05,641 - Brother, I'm building a palace in Corinth, 989 01:19:05,641 --> 01:19:09,612 where we were born, you can have anything you want. 990 01:19:09,612 --> 01:19:11,915 Even your own bone. 991 01:19:11,915 --> 01:19:14,851 Come with me brother, come with me. 992 01:19:23,726 --> 01:19:26,863 - Freely translated from wolf that means 993 01:19:26,863 --> 01:19:29,465 "Brother, you must be kidding." 994 01:19:36,940 --> 01:19:40,143 - So they passed through the land of the Amazons. 995 01:19:40,143 --> 01:19:42,378 King Minos was so pleased that he didn't have to 996 01:19:42,378 --> 01:19:44,680 vacate the palace at Nosis 997 01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:46,582 that he threw a tremendous wedding party 998 01:19:46,582 --> 01:19:48,751 for Theseus and Pandora. 999 01:19:48,751 --> 01:19:51,821 With my father presiding and my mother watching 1000 01:19:51,821 --> 01:19:53,656 my father like a hawk. 1001 01:19:54,824 --> 01:19:57,593 Directly after Theseus and Pandora 1002 01:19:57,593 --> 01:20:00,930 went straight to the new palace in Iona. 1003 01:20:03,699 --> 01:20:06,135 - Oh Theseus, it's beautiful. 1004 01:20:12,175 --> 01:20:14,743 Ah, Theseus, what's in the box? 1005 01:20:15,912 --> 01:20:19,148 - Pandora, you must never touch that box. 1006 01:20:19,148 --> 01:20:20,984 - Well I was just wondering, I mean, 1007 01:20:20,984 --> 01:20:23,853 what could possible in a rotten old box like that. 1008 01:20:23,853 --> 01:20:26,990 - Never mind, you remember what the oracle said. 1009 01:20:26,990 --> 01:20:29,926 - Oh now, you still don't believe in oracles do you? 1010 01:20:29,926 --> 01:20:32,495 - Pandora, just forget the box. 1011 01:20:36,032 --> 01:20:39,368 I think I'm going to go and take a bath. 1012 01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:59,822 - Old box, I don't see what one little peek will hurt. 1013 01:21:06,195 --> 01:21:09,732 Somebody opened the rotten box. 1014 01:21:13,102 --> 01:21:13,937 - Yaw. 1015 01:21:20,009 --> 01:21:20,843 - Ah. 1016 01:22:32,615 --> 01:22:33,449 - Whoa. 1017 01:22:36,652 --> 01:22:37,486 - Yeah. 1018 01:23:25,768 --> 01:23:26,602 - Momma! 1019 01:23:27,803 --> 01:23:31,640 - Baby, where in Hades did you get that one? 1020 01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:34,910 - Well, he's my husband Momma. 1021 01:23:34,910 --> 01:23:37,246 - Oh my poor baby. 1022 01:23:37,246 --> 01:23:39,915 - Well, he built me this palace. 1023 01:23:43,986 --> 01:23:46,755 - Well, don't worry, I'll make it over. 1024 01:23:46,755 --> 01:23:49,458 Men never know what they're doing when they build. 1025 01:23:49,458 --> 01:23:53,262 Takes the woman's touch, I always say. 1026 01:23:53,262 --> 01:23:56,365 I'll move into the guest room and 1027 01:23:56,365 --> 01:23:59,802 take over supervising the servants. 1028 01:23:59,802 --> 01:24:01,104 And him. 1029 01:24:01,104 --> 01:24:05,208 Be too much for you baby, much too much. 1030 01:24:05,208 --> 01:24:08,377 - Now, let's start from the beginning. 1031 01:24:09,512 --> 01:24:11,847 First that, that one tralup. 1032 01:24:13,716 --> 01:24:15,618 The one with the scarf. 1033 01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:19,222 It was of the same fabric that you came home with 1034 01:24:19,222 --> 01:24:21,690 on your thunder bolt after a terror around 1035 01:24:21,690 --> 01:24:23,159 the outskirts of Athens 1036 01:24:23,159 --> 01:24:27,596 or was it the underskirts or wherever you were. 1037 01:24:27,596 --> 01:24:32,067 And that second one, the one with the perfume 1038 01:24:32,067 --> 01:24:34,570 that you came reeking home of. 1039 01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:43,912 - Oh, and further more, gotta show 'em who's boss 1040 01:24:43,912 --> 01:24:48,083 right away first thing nothing worse than indecision. 1041 01:24:53,922 --> 01:24:55,258 - Well, I tried. 1042 01:24:56,625 --> 01:24:59,128 But my best efforts were spoiled by a box full 1043 01:24:59,128 --> 01:25:00,663 of mother's in law. 1044 01:25:02,097 --> 01:25:06,169 I'm sure somewhere this story must have a moral. 1045 01:25:06,169 --> 01:25:09,538 But I'm sure that you'd like it better if it had an 1046 01:25:09,538 --> 01:25:10,373 immoral. 1047 01:25:12,475 --> 01:25:13,576 Wouldn't you? 1048 01:25:15,178 --> 01:25:16,011 Oh well.